A lot of my time in Ireland has been waiting. A waiting made easier because of the hope of a freer future closer to what life looked like before the pandemic. For those of you who are not up to date with the coronavirus restrictions in Ireland, the country has been in a lockdown for the last seven months, opening briefly for Christmas, but closing again until last week. Hair salons and museums opened last week and non-essential shopping opened this week. On June 7th, outdoor restaurants and pubs are planning to reopen. Things are starting to look bright in Ireland.
Yet, as things start to reopen, I can’t help but reflect on the year we have had. It has been a hard year for the people of Ireland. I feel sad for the Irish people. I feel sad for their waiting. I feel sad for their disappointments. I have not met a ton of people in Ireland, but I have met enough to know that many of them are hurt by the past failures of the Catholic church. These failures have contributed to their loss of faith and hope in God. Thus, they are searching for a purpose anywhere they can find it. But, at the same time, I see many Irish running towards the church faster than I’ve ever seen and they are ready to consume any part of Jesus that they can, even if that means having less music during the celebration of mass or sitting in the back of the church behind a marble column (due to social distancing restrictions in the church).
I find myself fortunate to feel grounded in my Catholic faith. However, I still find myself relating to the former group I mentioned above. I am searching for THE purpose of my life (aren’t we all?). I don’t know what I will be doing when this year of service with the House of Brigid is over. This is the first time in my life I don’t have the next chapter planned in the book called my life. I find myself feeling stuck and excited and alone all the same time because I don’t know where to go next. However, my faith in God allows me to have hope that all will be well. I will take each step with purpose knowing that my Father has me. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without the support of my Father, especially now as I timidly try to find what I want to do next. That is why I feel sad for the people who feel that God does not make sense in their lives.
While I have completed many good things and learned a lot this year, I wonder how successfully I completed the mission of the House of Brigid to “bring back the faith that Ireland gave us [in America].” I wanted to change the lives of the Irish people who don’t have hope in God. I wanted them to feel Christ’s love. I wanted to minister Christ’s love to them. I will never know how much faith I gave to other people, but I know that in any laugh I provided, online service I helped with, or simple smile I gave, I DID positively influence someone (even a little) and I feel happy for that.
As this year comes to a close, I am realizing more and more that while I came here to change the Irish people, I was changed too. Perhaps my main mission being here was simply to BE changed. Although this year was hard, the Irish continued to show me what true strength looks like and how to continue to keep my head up during a lockdown. The musicians and parishioners of University Church made me feel hope. The people working in the Tesco and Dunnes check-out cues served me day after day with no complaint. The baristas (that I visited more often than I’d like to admit) provided me with many smiles and caffeine.
The Notre Dame mascot the “Fighting Irish” is indeed true! As funny as it sounds, the Irish showed me how to ~gracefully~ fight their way through a pandemic. Meaning, they showed me how to persevere, take a moment to relax and drink some tea, always be kind, and have some good craic. The Irish showed me they are a people of love. Since God is love, they showed me God himself.
(Some pictures that will make me miss this place! 🙂 )
