The days are getting shorter here in Wexford, as the sun sets earlier and rises later. We’ve almost reached the winter solstice, though, and soon each new day will bring a little more light.
Wait, hold on.
We’ve almost reached the winter solstice. Which means we’ve almost reached Christmas. Which means we’ve almost reached the end of the year.
I’m not counting down the days, or anything—time is flying fast enough on its own. But I do love when December draws to a close. I recognize the subjectivity of the “new year,” with time being a social construct and all… but I tend to like the idea of closing one chapter and beginning the next. It provides a nice opportunity for reflection, gratitude, and some self-evaluation.
On the 1st of January this year, I chose “three little words” to use as guideposts throughout 2019. I picked three words instead of one because it felt more holistic—three cornerstones I could use to check in with myself, to see if I was living in accordance with my values. Each word points to a different dimension of what I consider “healthy living”—finding and maintaining joy, establishing congruity between different areas of my life, and accepting life the way it comes. I hoped that setting intentions for the year would bear fruit, that I would learn something about myself through continued reflection.
These words have been on my mind extra over the past couple of weeks, as the days left in 2019 become fewer and fewer. I thought I’d share my words here, with a bit of reflection on how I’ve lived into each.
Light
The first word I chose hardly took much thought. I love the imagery of light and the things associated with it—warmth, kindness, goodness, joy. So, at the beginning of the year I posed these questions for myself:
- Where is the light in my life? Do I recognize it and give thanks for it?
- How can I be a light for others?
I’ve come to an understanding that light can be found in infinite places (even when darkness starts to fall at 4:00pm). There is so much light in my life, and it comes primarily from relationship. Spending time with the people I care about brings endless joy…though, I realize now that I often take it for granted. Graduating from college and moving to Ireland really opened my eyes to this, as I’m no longer a ten-minute walk from all of my close friends. I didn’t always appreciate their presence when it was accessible; only in its absence do I realize what a blessing it was. This understanding has helped me treasure the relationships I’m forming here in Wexford. Sharing tea and laughter in the mornings brings such light to my days, and I am actively grateful for that.
Light comes from other areas of my life too, especially from music and theatre. Performing in Guys and Dolls at Notre Dame, stage managing Brainstorm here in Wexford, playing the piano for Vigil Choir mass, creating beautiful music in community…participation in these arts fills my life with light. It has since I was a little girl, and I’m confident that it will continue for years to come.
I’m learning, too, that through all of these areas (authentic relationships, music ministry, performance) I can share my light with others. Being a witness to the faith, too, is an important way of bringing light to the world. Jesus is the light of the world, after all— “Whoever follows [Him] will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’ (John 8:12).
Harmony
Harmony, my second word, was definitely inspired by its musical use. I extended the concept to all areas of my life, though. I asked myself:
- Are the things I spend my time doing in harmony with the person I want to be?
- How can I achieve harmony between all I do?
This word required me to really think about the kind of person I want to be, the values by which I want to live. I hope to be faithful above all else, trusting in God and living as Jesus would. I hope to be kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. I hope to forgive, to use my gifts in the service of others, and to love as deeply as I can. By no means am I perfect at this—sometimes I’m downright bad—but acknowledging my core values has given me a greater sense of what guides me. Which, in turn, has helped me achieve greater harmony in my life. Whether I’m at work, at rehearsal, spending time with friends, or in my room alone, I intend to live by these same values.
Embrace
Finally, the third word I chose was embrace. I picked this word in anticipation of the whirlwind I expected 2019 to be—my final semester of college, graduation, transitioning to life in a new place. I asked myself:
- Do I embrace the people and moments in my life that bring me joy?
- How can I embrace the changes happening in my life?
- Do I embrace struggle the same way I embrace success and comfort?
And wow, I’ve done a lot of embracing this year. There were so many little moments at Notre Dame that I cherished—sitting on a futon with my best friend, pretending to do homework. The standing ovation mid-show on closing night of Guys and Dolls. Saying goodbye to my residents in my dorm. Watching the summer sunsets over St. Mary’s lake.
I’ve embraced the transitions in life, too—leaving the place I called home twice over, moving to Ireland, immersing myself in life in Wexford. More so, though, it’s been particularly special to be embraced by the Clonard community. I felt so welcome from the moment I arrived here, and that’s due entirely to the kindness of the people. It was much easier to embrace the change of moving in the face of such acceptance and warmth.
I still have room for growth within this word, though. I’m very averse to change; I’m working not to shy away from it, but instead to take it in stride. I’m working to embrace the present moment when I so often think about the future. And I’m working to embrace waiting and uncertainty, even when it’s painful.
My 2019 has been full of peaks and valleys, but also loads of light, harmony, and embracing. I’m thankful I have these words to reflect on, as they’ve kept me grounded through a tumultuous year.
Here’s hoping 2020 brings even more joy, peace, and growth, and maybe a little bit of clarity.
