There are three different routes that I alternate between to get from our house to Newman University Church each day. Route number one, the “hustle & bustle way,” as Sammie would describe it as. She loves the hustle & bustle of Camden street where she passes shops that have come to life since COVID restrictions have lifted, hears the roar of gatherings at the numerous pubs along the way, & sees the pop of beautiful colors on the shelves of flower markets. The second route, the “half-quiet way,” is Morgan’s go to. You still get a taste of the coffee shops and bustle along South Circular Road, but the second half is spent walking among quaint homes, quiet enough to really focus in on the music or podcast that’s blasting in your headphones during the last 15 minutes of the commute. The third way has become one of my personal favorites, the sleepy way. This entire journey is spent walking past homes that are filled with sleepy people who are starting their days. Just as these homeowners are enduring the slow process of waking up & getting on with their days, so too am I as I walk the 32 minutes outside of their doors. I listen to chill, acoustic music during the first 18 minutes and as I feel my body and mind wake up, it quickly switches to more lively pop bops during the final 14.
The second and third routes seem peaceful, blissfully gliding along the streets of Dublin, only really being disturbed or caught off guard by the occasional dog droppings that are often left all over the walking paths in Dublin. By the time that you’ve dodged all of those, woken up your mind and body, and enjoyed your mostly peaceful walk, you come to the street that really makes sure that you’re alive and functioning for the day: crossing from one side of Camden street to the other. When crossing this street (that does not really have near access to a proper crosswalk), you have to stop and think about the best way to dodge cars, Dublin busses, and the scariest mode of transportation: bicycles. All I have to say is if you don’t pay attention and plan a proper route….game over.
On a day where I was feeling particularly anxious and word vomiting my fears and worries to Sammie, we approached the dreaded crossing of Camden. The fun part about anxiety is that your mind is peddling as recklessly as the bicyclists in Dublin. Rather than easing on the brakes of my mind so that I could plan a safe crossing of the street, I clutched onto Sammie’s black puffy coat, closed my eyes, and let her absolutely drag me across the street. I placed all of my trust in my housemate for maneuvering me around the obstacles and landing us safely on the other side.
As soon as I opened my eyes on the other side of the street, I really did have a moment of reflection. I realized that 1) I launched myself into a street without looking both ways AND with my eyes closed and that this act was silly and scary and I should probably consider never doing again and 2) I was just feeling overwhelmingly grateful to have Sammie help me along even when I was being my chaotic and sometimes humorously crazy self.
Of course I’m going to relate this story to my faith life because this instance is a great representation of how my relationship with God has been over the last 2 months. Within the chaos of traveling, interviewing for future endeavors, guests visiting, & balancing community & work life, I have often felt like I did when I crossed Camden street that day. It feels almost literally that I’ve been closing my eyes, holding on tight to God, and trusting that God places me where I need to be. The whole experience has felt reckless, anxiety-driven, and oftentimes scary. But at the same time, it has felt freeing to let go of my control & to just be led.
I will say that it’s definitely safe and beneficial to stop, think, and be wise about your next steps. I certainly appreciate the moments that I can do that. I would also recommend using a crosswalk to get to your next walking path in life if you have clear, easy access to it. I love when “next steps” appear to me as clearly and smoothly as that. But in the hustle and bustle of life, these routes may seem unattainable or difficult to find proper time for. It’s in these moments that trust, more importantly trust in God’s will, can drag you down the street.
Sometimes it’s okay to just be dragged, to just be led. With God, you’ll safely make it to the other side.
Morgan’s request for the final sentence of this blog post: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.”
