What does it mean to remember? This word keeps floating around in the month of November, but honestly, sometimes I don’t really understand what it is. November is the Month of Remembrance in the Catholic community. Here at Clonard Parish we just finished our Service of Remembrance, where we honored and remembered all of those within our parish who died over the past year – it’s still available on our Parish’s Facebook page if you’re interested in checking it out. The Dublin House over at Newman University Church has their own Service of Remembrance on November 20th. I’m even currently watching the Alumni Memorial/Remembrance Mass from my alma mater, Boston College, as I write this. But still, I have to ask: what are we supposed to be remembering?
I know what the answer is supposed to be. We remember all of the good times we had with those that are gone. We remember the laughs, the joy, the fun, the love. But the thing is, when we think of those memories, we also remember the anger, the sadness, and the bad times too. I don’t know about any of you, but those are the feelings that I tend to want to avoid. The ones I want to get over. So I can’t help but think: why do we try to remember so much when it only brings pain and sorrow? Why do we dedicate an entire month and specific services and events just to put ourselves through that pain? It’s often hard for me to comprehend this. I understand the importance of respecting and honoring your loved ones, but when I see people getting visibly upset, I have to ask myself if it was worth it? What was the point of remembering?
Okay I’m going to be totally honest with you all right now. When I started writing this post I had an idea in my head that I was going to turn this into some elaborate and metaphysical response to death and friendship and love. I was going to bring up a couple of super in-depth metaphors, probably a Bible passage about death, maybe even some super crazy philosophical theory that I don’t fully understand but read the general explanation off of Wikipedia (yes, all of which have been present in my previous blog posts at some point or another). But as I sit here writing it, staring at the crackling candle I bought from TK Maxx, that candle is now the only thing I can think of.
If you did tune in to watch our Service of Remembrance you would see that the Paschal candle was the center of the camera shot, surrounded by four other candles, with an image of another candle projected onto the wall behind it. Why are candles used so much in remembrance? Why are they lit when someone dies? Why is the Paschal candle only used during baptisms, funerals, and Easter?
(Get ready for that super in-depth metaphor I made seem like I was going to skip this post)
Candles, in essence, are just fire. Fire is scary. It’s destructive, and dangerous, and can burn you – like when you have to use a small match to light the altar candles because the lighter is all out of fluid, not that I would know anything about that at all. But fire is also warmth, and light, and life. Sure, candles could be dangerous, they could hurt you. But they could also make a room seem fuller, prettier, and brighter.
They can light the darkness.
I don’t think people light candles not knowing at least somewhat of the dangers they hold. They light them knowing the risk, yet still want to see, smell, or in the case of this crackling one from TK Maxx, hear the beauty of them. So maybe that’s why we remember. Despite the pain that might come with it, we remember our loved ones for the good times and the laughter. We remember them to light our darkness.
May you all take the time to light as many candles as you need in this month to remember.
Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. Let them rest in peace.
