“Go make a difference, you can make a difference, go make a difference in the world! Woo!” I am not sure if anyone else knows or remembers this song, Go Make a Difference by Steve Angrisano and Tom Tomaszek, but my family sure does! This song was one that would make me and all of my school friends hyped up and excited to be at any prayer service or religious opportunity when we were antsy 6-10 year olds. We were taught hand motions to go with the tune and you could always feel the silliness and excitement in the space as we danced and sang together. If I’m being honest, the song is like an annoying, but catchy commercial jingle that just haunts your brain at the most random moments in life. It has jumped into my brain waves many times since I first danced and sang along to it at the age of six. My mom must agree because this was the song that she sang to me through her teary eyes as I walked away from my parents to board my plane to Ireland back in October.
As I boarded the plane with the annoying, but catchy tune of “Go Make A Difference,” on repeat in my head, I knew that I would write about it somehow in my final blog post on June 6, 2021, a date that seemed so far off that it wasn’t even worth thinking about JUST yet. No matter how much I tried to block out this song in my mind during the entire 9 hour and 34 minute plane ride, my brain kept circulating around the lyrics and picturing my mom doing the fun little hand motions while singing it to me in the airport. I thought that maybe writing it down would erase the constant jingle and allow me to actually sleep at some point, so I pulled out my journal, opened to the first blank page, and wrote:
Day One
October 8, 2020
“GO MAKE A DIFFERENCE”
The wise words and well wishes from Mama S to me as I leave America for a quick minute. I’d like to think that these wise, sing songy words are meant for Newman University Church and the whole House of Brigid community, as well. But rather focusing on strictly us making a difference in the world, I hope that we can allow differences to be made in our lives, too.
I pray that as I commit myself to this year & ~life~ of serving the Lord, that a difference is made in me, in my heart, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, I’ll be a servant that goes and makes some type of difference in the world, too. Amen.
This year of service has been incredibly hard, and I was quick to point that out on Day Two, October 9, 2020, as I wrote down “THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD” as the title of my journal entry. This year has been filled with sadness, anger, anxiety, uncomfortableness, doubt, and fear. I am well aware of all of the challenges and struggles that I have faced, that the country of Ireland has faced, and that the whole world has faced. It was by no means an easy year. I currently have 241 of the 265 days of journal entries filled with all of the year’s emotions, thoughts about these challenges, and ways that I was trying to process every “here and now” throughout my time in Ireland. I sit here and read some stories of grace, moments that I loved, days that I felt hopeless, tips & tricks from my therapist to try out, prayers, doodles and a whole lot more. Immersed in all of these pages was the common theme of “trust.” Trust is the word, the feeling, and the action that has most definitely become the binding of this year’s story.
When faced with homesickness, I trusted that Dublin would eventually feel more like home, that my housemates would begin to feel more like family. As I was stuck in the first COVID lockdown, I trusted that Ireland would soon have the means and vaccines to take on the pandemic….the same went for lockdowns two & three..trust was becoming more & more difficult, but things are looking up now (ha ha). Throughout my sadness and disappointment with the lack of in-person ministry that we experienced here in Ireland for many months, I trusted that our work online at Newman was still creating some sort of space for others to encounter Christ. During the times that my faith felt shaky, when it was hard to see, feel, and experience God, I trusted that God was present regardless, that Love was working in me, through me, and around me. When I was filled with sadness, anger, anxiety, uncomfortableness, doubt, fear, and was in the darkness of my challenges, I placed my trust in the glimpses of good each day and in the good that was to come.
Right now, the words “go make a difference, you can make a difference, go make a difference in the world! Woo!” are, of course, still ringing in my ears. I think it will take quite some time and another journal to process the differences that were made in me and around me this year. I think a lot of the things that I have learned and gained from this year will continue to present themselves to me over the years. But as I’ve done with everything else this year, I will trust that all of the unseen things that I have learned, that I have gained, and that I have been able to share here will be good.
Day Two
October 9, 2020
“THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD”
but it is also going to be very good. This is not fear entering my mind, but, rather, intense truth. Moving isn’t easy, let alone to a different country. Culture shock isn’t easy. New roommates aren’t easy. Serving God isn’t easy, but it’s also good. Because God is good. And in the “good” is where I am going to place my trust.”
Saint Brigid, pray for us.
Saint Anthony, pray for me & my lost iPhone SIM card….pls help
*Spoiler: I found the SIM card 3 months later in a crack on the living room floor…thanks, St. Anthony!*
Here’s to my House of Brigid 2020-2021 story, I am excited to fill the blank pages of a new journal for HoB 2021-2022.
