This past Friday, we heard a reading from the Prophet Isaiah about the condition of the people’s fasting. This reading is Isaiah 58:1-9, and many parts of this reading stood out to me, in particular, this year as we begin this season of Lent.
The reading begins: “Shout out, do not hold back! Lift up your voice like a trumpet! Announce to my people their rebellion, to the house of Jacob their sins.” We will hear in this reading how the people of God are desiring to be closer to God and they are wanting to know why their prayers are going unanswered. We can hear in the urgency of God’s voice to “shout out” and “raise your voice like a trumpet” in regards to addressing the sins of God’s people. Just as God’s people are desiring to be closer to God, God desires us to listen to and follow the Will of God for us.
We hear in the reading God addressing the conditions of the people’s fasts to the Lord: “Look, you seek your own pleasure on your fastdays and you exploit all your workmen; look, the only purpose of your fasting is to quarrel and squabble and strike viciously with your fist. Fasting like yours today will never make your voice heard on high.” This is a theme I have heard frequently throughout my life when it comes to fasting for Lent. We hear this theme when we receive ashes on Ash Wednesday that “when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face.” (Matthew 6:17) Fasting is meant as a means to remind ourselves of our humanity and recenter our lives on God who alone can provide for all of our needs. However, when our fasting turns us hostile or causes us to lack empathy for others then we are not doing what is good and just.
I was recently talking with my housemates about this reading from the Prophet Isaiah, and what struck me most of all was in the next line of the reading which states: “Is that the sort of fast that pleases me, a day when a person inflicts pain on himself? Hanging your head like a reed, spreading out sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call fasting, a day acceptable to Yahweh?” Lenten fasting is meant to remind us of the abundance of gifts we have been given. By fasting from meat and giving up a worldly trinket or snack foods we enjoy, we give thanks and praise for all God has given us. When we boast about our fast, however, or we give up too much and it becomes a burden and difficult to be compassionate towards others, then we have missed out on the call of fasting. If our fast from worldly things leads to anger and impatience towards others, then we are not fasting out of love, rather out of self-gratification.
This is such an important theme throughout the Bible, as we heard on St. Valentine’s Day in the beautiful reading from 1 Corinthians: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).
Love is, above all, what we are called to: to love one another and to love God above all things. When we fast, we must do so in love. We must not give up so much that it becomes challenging to show love to others and to God.
To do anything in love, a person must first know that they themselves are loved not based on what they do, but who they are. This week, my housemate Joseph and I put together a presentation for our 2nd class students on preparing for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We talked about how important it is that when you ask for forgiveness for your sins, you are truly sorry and intend not to sin again. To teach this to 2nd class students, we gave the example that if you were mean to your brother and want to ask for forgiveness, you have to be sorry for your actions and never want to be mean to your brother again.
That idea of feeling sorry for your actions is easy enough to explain, though in practice it does not always look so simple. Often, in order to reach the point of asking for forgiveness and feeling truly sorry, you have to go through a phase of feeling guilt for your sin. The beautifully overwhelming thing about God is that we know that we will always be forgiven. Even at the lowest points of shame, we are still loved.
I have known shame and guilt all too well in my life. When you feel that shame and guilt, it can be easier not to address it and to block others out. I know that I have built a wall to keep myself safe from letting others see the guilt I feel. Inside of the walls we build it can be hard to feel the love of God and of others. While that love is actually ever-present, it can seem far away when shame keeps you trapped behind the wall.
I know how difficult it can be to be a beacon of God’s love when I am hiding in fear. Sometimes I would rather hide away in my room when I am feeling upset or overwhelmed because alone we can hide our emotions of fear and shame from others. But we are called to be love for one another, which is how we see God in our world. I am a guarded person and do not share my emotions often with others, but in order to act out of love, I must be vulnerable enough to accept God’s love for me first.
Lent is a time for us to challenge those emotions of shame and fear and anything that keeps us from feeling God’s love. God knows that we are imperfect and loves us anyway; we will always receive God’s forgiveness if we long for it.
Perhaps this Lent I will fast from hiding behind my wall and will be vulnerable in my prayers and with my friends and family. Maybe I will fast from fear and will remember that I am loved and am called to love others with fervor. Perhaps I will work on accepting some of that love for myself. We rise again from the ashes of our lives, from the fear and shame and sin and we do so because we know that we are loved and are called to love others.
