Find the Narrow Way

“Lead me, Lord

By the light of truth

To seek and to find the narrow way.”

– John D. Becker

Uneasiness, uncertainty, and anxiety are seemingly more and more present now in life – at least in my life, that is. The global pandemic, being sent home early from my senior year at Boston College, and the waiting period to begin with the House of Brigid have caused too much ambiguity and not enough closure. For months, I sat in my childhood bedroom, wondering where life would take me, and why it was taking so long. But nowadays that is nothing special or in particular. We’ve all heard those stories: the unprecedented difficulties of people in unprecedented times, forced to make unprecedented solutions. We all get it, and we all sympathize with those affected.

But what about the uneasiness, uncertainty, and anxiety that comes in other times – in normal, every day, always occurring times. The dread of having to put down your childhood dog. The heartache of not knowing the next time you will see your loved ones and closest friends. The panic felt within when required to fly halfway around the world – alone, mind you – when you can count all of the other flights you have ever taken on your fingers. All of these feelings, coupled with those attached to the worldly issues at hand have made it very difficult to hold onto hope, and at times, even faith. So how do so many people keep fighting, going strong, and staying resolute in their beliefs when there are so many struggles both behind and in front of them?

For me, it is through song. One song in particular: a relatively popular Christian contemporary piece by John D. Becker, “Lead Me, Lord.” This song, while catchy with a good melody and nice harmonies, also serves as the unofficial anthem theme song signature piece of my former church choir and religious organization, the Liturgy Arts Group of Boston College (LAG). This song not only acts as a fun recessional hymn at masses throughout the year, but also as a song of joy at retreats and gatherings, a song of sadness and loss, and a song of togetherness, family, and love. It has been sung through laughs, tears, and everything in between. And no matter what I am going through, even if it causes me to be uneasy, uncertain, and anxious, listening, playing, or singing “Lead Me, Lord” helps to ground me. It reminds me of all of the beautiful and wonderful people that I have connected with in LAG and elsewhere. It reminds me that there is a path ahead of me, despite it often being dark, scary, or narrow. It reminds me to have faith, and to stay true to myself and to God.

There is a line in Becker’s piece – one of my favorite lines, perhaps – asking the Lord to lead us “by the light of truth, to seek and to find the narrow way.” The most apparent meaning of this lyric is to ask for help from above in order to get into the narrow gate of heaven, and through the difficult path we need to follow as Christians in order to be able to walk through it once our time on Earth is over. Nonetheless, throughout all of the times I have sung and played this song – which trust me, has been plenty – a new meaning has started to develop for me. The world is not always easy. It is often filled with that uneasiness, uncertainty, and anxiety. Navigating through it all is at times very difficult. So difficult that you may want to just give up, and give into the darkness and temptations in an attempt of making it easier. When I sing asking for help to find the narrow way, I am asking for assistance from above. Asking for support to get through the dark and difficult times. And I am asking to be placed back onto the path so I can keep moving forward in an attempt to do good in the world.

And while this song may prompt the memory of good people and good times, and help me when I am down, there are many other ways for people to find a path down their very own narrow way. In fact, there are little bits of prayer, reflection, and peace all around us. Jesus tells us in the Song of Solomon that he is “a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.” Lilies, found in all different shapes and colors, are all over the world. Even in rough and difficult places where the sun cannot reach to make them apparent, they are still present, as Jesus tells us “as the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.” These thorns represent those troubles, anxieties, and anything else pulling us off of the narrow way. But the lilies can lead us back onto it.

These lilies – or little pieces of light, hope, and good – might seem small and insignificant to others, but to each one of us, they are the most beautiful flowers our eyes have ever laid upon. And most importantly, these lilies are different for everyone. Maybe listening to a certain song has the same effect on you as it does for me. Or maybe you are brought to peace by journaling, or by calling and reconnecting with a certain person or people. Maybe your lily is cuddling with your pet, or petting every dog that you are so fortunate to see while walking. Maybe it’s reminiscing of fun times and memories through pictures on your mantle. Or maybe it’s even just staring at a poorly photoshopped nature tapestry above your bed, reminding you of all of the beauty and love God has given us in this world.

As I sit here, now one week in Ireland yet still one week away from quarantine being over and being able to truly live and work in the Irish world, I find myself thinking of all of the lilies in my life, and all of those lilies that I might be able to find additionally throughout this upcoming year. Will I be perfect throughout the year? Of course not. There will be days when I am too lazy to do the dishes (sorry Maddie, Katy, and Katie). There will be days where I am too tired to make my bed in the morning. And there will be days where life is so dark that I may be blind to see the path. But in those days, I will know that my lilies are still there, in their many shapes and colors. I will sit, reflect, and probably play “Lead Me, Lord” more than just a few times (again, sorry Maddie, Katy, and Katie). But in the end, it may be just enough to allow me to seek and to find the narrow way.