Three weeks ago, I found myself back on the campus of Notre Dame for House of Brigid orientation. I had graduated just months before, but that didn’t stop the campus from being a flurry of activity and excitement for the new school year about to begin. It felt strange not to be living in McGlinn, or buying books for new semester. It felt strange to be making new friends and learning about a new country, in a time where I was normally falling back into routine. It felt strange that my adventure at Notre Dame had ended, while my new one in Ireland was about to begin. Mostly, It felt strange to be back in a place that felt like home, but no longer was.
On Sunday night of that weekend, I had been visiting some old friends in McGlinn. It had been comforting to have a long chat with them, especially during a time of such change in my life. After I bid them goodbye, I walked back towards the Sacred Heart Parish Center, where we were staying for House of Brigid orientation. My mind was awash with worry about the adventure about to begin. Would the members of the community like me? Would I be helpful at the parish I was serving? What was I even doing exactly at the parish I was serving?
As I walked back to the center, I passed the grotto, where streams of freshmen were filing in, faces lit with candles. It was strange to see them with their Notre Dame journeys just beginning, while mine was ending. I turned to walk around the lakes, away from McGlinn, from the comfort of my old life there, to the dark and unknown of the forest trail. As I turned into the wooded din, a chorus of singing began to ring out from the grotto:
Longing for light, we wait in darkness.
Longing for truth, we turn to you.
The words hit me in a new way they never had before. Here I was in this moment of uncertainty and darkness. I didn’t know exactly what my new life would look like. I was yearning to dive in and figure out my future, to embrace the light of understanding.
As I rounded the corner, I turned up to the path towards to Jesus in the Woods. In one of those crazy, God moments- my eyes hit Christ’s illuminated figure just as the chorus hit.
Christ be our light,
Shine through the night,
Shine through the darkness.
The answer to my worries, my fear of the future, was there. Christ, the light through all the uncertainty. My thoughts lifted as I felt Christ’s presence shine through the fear and hesitation. God had called us to House of Brigid, each of the individually, because there is work that we are supposed to do here. God has ways to use each of, gifts, talents, and flaws, to shape us, our communities, and our parishes in beautiful and unique ways. Sure, we didn’t know what was next, what this would look like- but the greatest light there is was guiding us.
And once I recognized that light, it became easier to find it everywhere- not just in the literal Christ through the darkness- but in every moment of my life.
That light shined through as we took on our first challenge in House of Brigid- singing three masses for the Notre Dame Kylemore Centre Dedication. Despite being jet lagged and culture shocked, we were able to find grace and gratitude as we performed in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
The light shined through as each group headed to our individual communities in Wexford and Dublin. As we met our parish team and parishioners, feeling their kindness and welcoming presence, it was easy to see Christ in each one of them.
The light shined at Wednesday night Vigil Choir rehearsals, daily morning teas with our endearing gang of parishioners, and Friday lunches at Father Dennis’s house. The light shined through as we visited our schools for the first time. The young students, filled with vibrant energy and loud voices, made it impossible not notice the way they shined brightly.
The light shined through our group retreat at Ballyvalloo, where we enjoyed sunshine on the beach and quiet reflection together on what our year would look like. The light shined as we receive our first visitor, Martha Calcutt, who shared with us some wisdom from Teach Bhride I. The light shined through our encounters with the unexpected- figuring out everything from Irish Immigration systems, to how to procure a library card, to how to play the organ (well… just Alex did that one). The light shined as our community joined our parish on a pilgrimage to Knock in County Mayo.
And in particular, the light shined through each member of Teach Bhride VIII, as we supported each other through our transition, as we were amazed by each other’s gifts, as we entered into prayer, into friendship, and into community together.
A long year awaits us in Ireland. There will undoubtedly be more moments of fear and uncertainty to come. But I know that we can navigate them with the courage found in using Christ as our light.
Megan McCuen is a member of Teach Bhríde Wexford. She writes her personal blog at wandersinwonder.blogspot.com
